Sinking

I feel the weight of the world. It’s becoming too heavy to bear. All my efforts in this life feels like it’s been done in vain. There is nothing to show for it.

Who am I?

Why am I here?

Do I even have a purpose?

Many acts of violence seem like the way to go. We need to be better as parents and people of society but to the detriment of our mental health. We lose our identities.

Even then we are expected to just do what needs to be done. Do what is appropriate in the eyes of society.

I can’t help but think the pressures are different in different countries. If that’s the case, I’d rather be there then here.

This may occur more often than not but I feel like a failure. As a parent and as a human being. It’s one of the reasons I seek an escape from my own consciousness. To the point where I become shaky, without a way to stop it.

Everything that I would like to achieve for myself always seems so far, out of reach, that if I try to stretch myself any further, I’ll be taking a nose dive off the edge of the world. Into the dark abyss, where my consciousness reigns supreme. The overlord of my mental state.

Where do I go from here…?

What is the answer I need…?

Why is this always happening to me…?

I have no way of answering these questions.